Does God Want Me Dead?


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This book is a result of the spiritual lessons I have learned upon being diagnosed with a slow, progressive, and terminal illness. Once I was told I had a life expectancy of less than five years, biblical truths that seemed to be hidden to me prior to my diagnosis now seemed to pour off of every page. I was an avid Bible student and teacher prior to my diagnosis, but following my dire prognosis, I began to have a greater appreciation for the pain, suffering, and death of so many of the men and women that share their stories within the cover of our Holy Bible. The title of this book, Does God Want Me Dead, came first. The title is not intended to be sacrilegious, but other phrases seem to come woefully short of the question pressing upon my heart. Slowly, over three years, each additional chapter would germinate in my mind and heart and develop over varying time periods. My goal is always to handle God’s Word accurately and honestly. I know I will stand before God in a relatively short period of time to answer for each word I have uttered and written. My objective is to disseminate the truths that I have learned, first to my family and friends that will be most affected by my departure, and then to all the saints of God willing to invest a few hours of their time for their edification and sanctification. May God’s glory be high and lifted up in all things.

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1 review for Does God Want Me Dead?

  1. (verified owner):


    At 12 o’clock midnight, I finished your manuscript ‘Does God Want Me Dead?’ It is not 12:30 a.m. and I know the answer; YES, God does want me dead. Most people cannot put suffering in the same category as mercy, goodness, pleasure. It amazes me how you have used Scripture to do just that. Most people have a difficult time seeing God get glory from our suffering, to accomplish something far greater, but YOU see it; sharing that in these pages is inspiring to the reader. People who read this book and who face daunting challenges in this earthly life will be edified by the words in these pages. I see many people needing to soak up the words and Scripture you have explored. To have a zeal for death, and that it is viewed as gain, is certainly on a higher plain than most. I believe this book will allow us to see that God uses our tribulations, our sufferings, for something far greater. This is encouraging me; light momentary afflictions are comforting to me and that we are renewed day by day is a source of joy.

    What an accomplishment in writing this! You are an inspiration to all who know you.

    “….all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

    Becky Bowling

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